“Earlier than I went to the Olympics I rode every kind of horses: large and small, cold and warm, ones that stopped, ran away, stood up on their hind legs. To be a terrific rider you actually ought to be capable to journey all totally different dimensions and shapes, hunters and jumpers, dressage horses. That’s the best way I used to be taught, and I believe it makes you a greater horseman.”
-Anne Kursinski, five-time U.S. Olympic Present Leaping veteran
Everybody Wins a Prize
Our tradition of “everybody wins a prize; there are not any losers” has inspired folks to really feel like they’re the identical. Nobody is healthier than anybody else; nobody is worse than anybody else. Mother and father encourage their youngsters to be “good,” as if getting together with others (on the expense of all the pieces else) is the one factor that issues. We’re secure that approach. The issue with this attitude is that it makes it tough for anybody to try to be higher or stand out. In making an attempt make everybody really feel like a winner, nobody is a winner. If we’re all pretty much as good as the subsequent particular person, the place is the motivation to enhance? If we’re already adequate, why attempt to be glorious?
Let Me At ‘Em
Once I was a child studying to journey, I couldn’t wait to get onto the subsequent horse. I saved a written log of each horse I rode and I wished that record as a protracted as potential. If I noticed one other rider having a tough time with a horse, I might assume, “Let me on him, I wish to attempt to repair it.” I see much less of that sentiment in right this moment’s riders. I chalk it as much as most riders’ efforts to NOT stand out. On this day of “everybody will get a medal,” now we have created an atmosphere the place it’s not fascinating to face out and be one of the best at one thing. Everybody is nice sufficient, we wish to get together with everybody, and the concept of standing out evokes worry as a substitute of pleasure.
When driving a brand new, inexperienced or tough horse, a rider could danger failure. What if she isn’t adequate to repair the issue, to beat the problem or impediment? She could have talked herself up, solely to search out that she isn’t pretty much as good as she thought. Not solely did she let herself down, she did it publicly. That’s scary. That’s social devastation. So she chooses to take a seat quietly, to assume much less of herself. She says, “Oh I couldn’t…journey that, say that, write that, try this….” She stands by, she evolves right into a wallflower. She seeks consolation within the identified. Established order is nice, and there’s no danger and no hurt to her self price.
Sadly, if we predict that approach once we strategy making an attempt new issues in driving, our improvement will get stymied because of not pushing our boundaries. Maybe a complete era of riders has been affected by this mind-set. I see it typically.
I do know that I’m on this earth to positively impression riders’ view of themselves, and assist them imagine they’ll do something, even journey the cussed or unruly horse they by no means thought they’d have the center for. All the trouble to be taught to work with every horse – whether or not it’s that rider’s explicit kind of journey or not – develops confidence, grit and interior power, and that carries over into the remainder of their lives.
You Will Fail, Till You Don’t
When you be taught to journey a brand new horse, attempt to repair an issue horse, or try to be one of the best in a category, you’ll be unhealthy at it till you’re employed at it sufficient to enhance. In a “blue ribbons for everybody” world, being higher than others (success), or being worse (failure), seems like an awesome burden. Throughout the wrestle, you’ll be totally different. You received’t conform. You take a danger. So you might assume it’s simpler to remain in your lane; to acquiesce and assist the organism that’s your current social construction, and NOT STAND OUT.
Kids right this moment are actually dying to slot in. There may be a lot stress to slot in and be accepted by no matter group they’re making an attempt to remain part of, that they are going to do something to adapt. Once they don’t, they exit, in no matter approach they understand how. I worry that our present tradition of “everybody will get a prize” helps that. Becoming in feels higher than standing out. The place does it finish?
It’s Okay To Not Match In
Using can assist relieve you of the necessity to slot in in any respect prices. You probably have the fitting coach and barn atmosphere, it should allow you to take an opportunity. Your coach will assist you in your highs and lows, throughout your wrestle for talent acquisition. Your barn mates will cheer you on in your wrestle, for everybody is in the identical boat. You may construct confidence and interior power while you be taught to (quickly) fail in your small group. When errors are acceptable and even inspired, you’ve an opportunity to hone your craft and develop into a greater horsewoman.
Whenever you’ve discovered the fitting “barn residence,” errors don’t equal failure and received’t be a blow to your self-worth. As an alternative, your schooling will bloom, and so will your resilience and confidence.
So – with assist – attempt driving the more durable horse, attempt driving within the more difficult atmosphere, attempt the larger courses. Stretch your boundaries and you might find yourself stunning your self.